Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm Hanging In There.....

As I've said, many, many times..............You sweet chickies have helped me weather the storm for nearly a year............I'm so grateful.

My Mum passed away a year ago on the 26th.......there have been lots and lots of bumps along the way, but I am still standing. That seems like a miracle to me. At this time last year I thought I was going to die from the pain.

I still miss her every single day and long to call her........to have a cup of tea with her.........to hear her tell me how much she loves me.

As we know growth happens in the valleys. My relationship with Jesus has grown so much......for that I am soooo grateful.

I'm comforted in knowing that my Mum isn't hurting anymore. Or falling. It's heartbreaking to hear your Mum fall. Horrible.

I was told once, many years ago.......if you're in a plane, looking down at the earth the places that are greenest are the valleys........those are the times when you're leaning on God.

Thank you for being there for me. Wonderful ladies I've never met. I'm so blessed to have met all of you. You're treasures to me.


Huggies and Lovies,
Spence

29 comments:

  1. Aww.. Spencer, how sweet your mom looks in that picture. I lost my mom 10 years ago and still feel the pain, especially at the holidays. It is always there, just gets a little less intense and I believe it is her helping me to go on, as she always did. hugs to you:)
    paula

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  2. DEAR PRECIOUS SPENCER,
    MY PRAYERS AND LOVE ARE WITH YOU. MAY YOU FEEL THE PEACE AND BLESSINGS OF CHRIST'S LOVE!
    I KNOW YOUR MOTHER IS LOOKING OVER YOU AND WATCHING EVERY DAY HER PRECIOUS DAUGHTER, GRANDCHILD AND GREAT GRANDCHILD.
    LOVE
    ANGEL HUGS
    DEBBIE

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  3. I lost my Mother Dec. 6th, 1996. While I thought I would never get over it I found as the years go by it does lessen. You miss them but the Good Lord give us ways to continue with our love & memories we hold tight.
    Thinking of you.....
    Love,
    Marilyn
    xxoo

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  4. My precious Spencer...please come by my new post; I mention you. And...I know the pain dear, sweet one. When my mummy and daddy died within 2 weeks of each other, I thought I was going to die next from the fatigue, the shock, the loss of my hair and weight...and my spirit was so dry. But, there was a constant hum of peace literally beneath me, holding me up, and yes, it was HIM. Though I walked through the VALLEY of the shadow of death, I could fear nothing, because each day, very slowly, got brighter. But here I am 22 years later, and last night, I was thinking about my daddy and nearly wept. We are here for ya' love. Be well, and let a new year bring healing and peace. Anita

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  5. Hello Spencer, what a beautifully written and heart warming post this is! I too lost my mom last autumn and know well the terrible pain of missing that it causes. How many times do I want to just pick up the phone and hear her voice. And no one in the world understood me like she did, and I miss that someone in the world knew my every little whim and heart beat, understood why I loved certain thing and why I did not love others. Even hubby does not seem to understand the real me like mom did. Wishing you a new year filled with acceptance of that which we no longer have, and the strength to cope with the pain of missing someone so much that was dear to you. Happy New Year. ~~ Debby

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  6. I'm happy to hear you are getting through this hard time, Spencer. I'm thinking of you, my friend.

    xoxo
    Claudia

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  7. Spencer, you have blessed us in return.

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  8. Good Morning Sweet Spence...
    You sweetie are such a bright light in my day. I thank God for you my friend. I was truly blessed the day that you popped over to my blog, and I will be forever greatful for that day. I so enjoy visiting with you, reading your posts and laughing with you. The tea is pretty darn great too.

    Thank you my precious friend for 2009. I can't wait to see what 2010 brings to us here in Blog Land.

    I love you sweet friend, and cherish each day we spend together.

    Country hugs...Sherry

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  9. Spencer, sending my prayers to you. Count on it.

    Happy New Year!

    Barb ♥

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  10. Happy Blue Monday dear Spencer. It is a blue day for you over here.
    Let out the cries, tears, yell into your pillow, do what you have to do. I did that for the longest time after my dad died. Actually over 15 years of crying, now I just miss him terribly.
    May you have a lovely New Year dear Spencer.
    Love Claudie
    xoxoxo

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  11. Spencer,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It is the year of first's for you. My father passed away several yrs. ago on Christmas Eve night and the next year came and it was difficult. You will always miss your Mum,and I my Dad but it does get better in that the memories will be less stinging,and more soothing. We have something in common,Jesus is our salvation and the healer of the brokenhearted. I'm praying for you dear one.

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  12. I am very grateful to have met you, Spencer. You are always a bright spot in my day when you visit. All the very best to you in the upcoming new year. hugs, Sue

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  13. Let me tell you it will get a little better. When my Mommy passed away i just knew my life was over.. I still miss her every day. It was just her birthday Dec 21.. It is hard still,but just to sit and think of wonderful days i spent with her helps alot. We will never forget and i do not want to. We just learn to cope.

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  14. So sorry it's a hard day for you! My father was killed in a car wreck on Dec 30th 1977. Many years later I had a cousin born on that day and it helped us all.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers!
    Hugs, Lisa

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  15. Hello Lovely Lady!! I see where you get that loveliness! Your Mum just brightens up your blog with her smiling face, the same way you do!! Praying for you sweetie!! God will heal your tender hurting heart, and fill you with the sweetness of precious memories that linger in your soul and make you smile at the most unexpected times.

    Praying His best for you in 2010. So glad to be counted among your friends, Spencer!!
    Love you,
    Becky

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  16. Dear Spence, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it must be very hard to get through the holidays when you miss someone so you loved so much! My prayers for God's comfort are with you. Many blessings in the coming year.

    Hugs
    Kathy

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  17. Oh, honey, I only know it does get easier. Some days are better than others.

    When my dad comes to me in my dreams it's always so comforting to me to know he's still with me and I can see his face and hear his laughter. Crazy huh?

    I'm sending you a big hug from California where we are visiting kids.

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  18. You sweet person you. Thank you for coming...you are the bright star in the firmament of twinkling souls! Oh...whew...what a stressful day of doing revisions on my thesis. I would rather write a play. Thank you darlin' for coming by. Sleep well, Anita

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  19. Dear Spencer,
    I understand your sorrow. My dad moved on 4 years ago... a few months before Christmas. Sometimes I wish I could just hear him say my name again. We do have the comfort of knowing our loved ones are with our Lord. Blessings to you.
    Gwen

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  20. Spencer! I didn't realize that the 26th was the day. I am hugging you in my heart right now, and I hope you can feel the love across the miles. Do you know that I have blocked out the actual date of my mother's and my grandmother's deaths? It was so painful that I just obliterated it from my memory. But every year in May, I get that "feeling." I also get it in October. And I can't help but remember Daddy's because it's my MIL's birthday. So I understand, precious.

    Big warm hugs...

    XO,

    Sheila

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  21. Hello Spencer; What a touching post,, it brought back memories of my Mom... she passed 22yrs ago a few days before Christmas... I still miss her as much as I did back then.. But with the Lords help the pain is not as bad.. I thank Him for that.. and one day your memories will bring you less Pain,, God Bless;

    Hugs;
    Alaura

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  22. I'm glad that your readers can provide some comfort during a difficult time. You have blessed me with your sweet attitude and posts. Sending love and prayers.

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  23. I do know how you are feeling about missing your mom...I lost my mom and dad a month a part.I talked to my mom everyday on the phone.I even picked up the phone the day she died..dont know what I was going to tell her..This was all 24yrs ago. It is like yesterday. As the years go by the pain doesnt go away but life takes over and the pain eases but you will never get over the loss of her being gone. She will always be with you.She is a part of you. Seems like the first year my heart hurt then it got easier. I just put up pics of my xmas decor,if you want to take a peek you are welcome. Maybe it will cheer you up..Hugs Sally

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  24. I am glad you are in a stronger place. It has to be so hard to lose a parent, I dread the day.

    I hope you had a Merry Christmas. I have been fighting off a nasty cold but am finally feeling better. I hope you have a Happy New Year full of lots of blessings and all things good. No Valleys for you next year!

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  25. Dear Spencer,

    It seems so many words have been said - and everyone is sending their love. I want to send you love and prayers too. It is very hard to lose a mother.

    Prayers and hugs being send your way.

    Wishing you a happy new year. Sandie

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  26. Spencer, you came by to visit for the first time & commented on my needlework. Thank you for your sweet comments. When I came back to visit you I see the pain you are feeling but, the strength you speak of in loosing your sweet Mom. My Daddy went to be with the Lord 5 years ago & I STILL miss him so! But, aren't we the lucky ones to have had them in our lives? I KNOW I WAS! And to think that now they are our guardian angels is such a comfort. Hang in there! Happy New Year! Charlene

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  27. Hi Spence,
    I love this beautiful post and I know you mum is watching you and she knows how very much you miss her. What a darling picture of a darling woman.
    I have enjoyed so much getting to know you and I wiash you all good things this 2010.
    hugs

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  28. Hello Spencer, Happy New Year to you and yours. I am so sorry that the first anniversary was here and esp. around the holidays, I know that sometimes it's hard to celebrate when we think of those we lost and loved so very much. I was out of the country and so am posting late to send you well wishes, some blog love and some prayers too. I am very lucky to still have my mom with me, but I know that our time is limited. She is very healthy, but she is 82 and we all know we can't be here forever. My sister in law just lost her mom two weeks ago. The pain is raw. Some one who was always there from the beginning and is no longer must be like a hell on earth. I doubt that you will ever not miss her, but no matter what you believe, she is out there watching you and sending you love each and everyday. We never go away, us moms. You can't be rid of us......even tho we may not be there in life, our spirit lives on and on in all the hearts of those who loved us. May peace be with you Spencer and may you enjoy each and every day of the New Year. Don't forget you have many blogging buddies to help you get thru the bad days as well as the good days, so don't be afraid to reach out, Char

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  29. Dear Spencer,
    I'm so sorry for your recent loss. Losing a mom is like losing part of one's world. My dear mom passed on in January 2000 and I miss her smiling face and caring ways. I know this is a difficult time for you and send you prayers. With my deepest sympathy, Coraliie

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Sweet and dear little Chickies....thank you so much for your comments. I read each and every one. I always try to make a return visit........sometimes I fail miserably... but you're alllll soooo special to me!

Many, many hugs!
Spencer