Showing posts with label bonus daughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bonus daughter. Show all posts

Friday, June 1, 2012

Get Out Your Hankies!


Hi Chickies!  

By the way, have I told you lately how much y'all mean to me?  Well, just in case I have been neglectful in that department........YOU REALLY do mean a LOT to me.


Ok.........got your hankies ready?



If you've been one of my buddies for awhile now, you probably know I never share my life on a personal level.... I just try to keep things impersonal and light.  But today......a tale that will touch your heart.   I'm going to get real here...  so let's start.


It's a long story.    :-)    Get comfy.


My daughter was born 10 months and four days after I got married.  Easy Peasy.   When I thought of having another baby it never occurred to me that it could be difficult, but it was.


I actually became pregnant five times after Dodi......several with the help of fertility drugs, but always miscarried....  once at five months.  My heart broke.  I had the Dalkon Shield IUD after my daughter was born and the Dr. was certain that contributed to the problems I was having.  (Apparently many women who had had this form of IUD suffered from infertility after using this product).


So..........after about 3 years of trying.......and living in horrible pain caused by endometriosis and some other problems, I had surgery to correct things.



A year later I signed the papers for the Dr. to do a hysterectomy......he hoped he'd be able to repair things again, but wanted to be able to take the best course for my health.


When I woke up he told me he'd had to take my uterus.



Heart.broken.


That was May 1977.



Several weeks passed......and while I was at home recovering, my sweet Dr. called me.  He said "I've just had a woman come in to my office, full term with no prenatal care.  She wants to give the baby up for adoption.  Do you want the baby"?


HOLY COW.


Emotions running higher than I could ever explain.  Such grief/depression/sadness over not being able to have another child to pure joy at the opportunity to have another chance.  Roller Coaster.



My memory is a bit blurry......but it wasn't long after that call that I got another call saying that the baby had been born, it was a darling little girl........June 1, 1977.    I couldn't get to the hospital fast enough.  They wanted to keep her for a few days to check her very carefully since her mother hadn't received any prenatal care...  so we brought her home when she was several days old.


BLISS.


We laughed at her constantly.  I've never seen a baby with so many facial expressions.  I inhaled that baby smell and held her more than I put her down.


When she was less than a week old there were some circumstances that meant we were going to be unable to keep her.....  Nothing at all with her.......it was about us....  forgive me for not going into detail here, but it's pretty painful stuff........



We called the Dr. to tell him our decision.  He told us that he had a wonderful family that wanted that sweet and precious baby and not to worry about it.



Sure.  Don't worry?


We met the new parents at the courthouse when we went to sign all the paperwork.  I didn't think I'd ever stop crying.  It was HORRIBLE.


I memorized their names.  Their faces.


I knew I'd be able to find them somehow.


And, I did.



But I was afraid.  I so wanted to see how this sweet little child was doing.  I had pictures of her from the hospital and her first few days of life that I wanted her to have.  I kept thinking I'd find out where she went to school and do a "drive by"...  or go past her house to see if she would be playing outside.



I thought about calling.  I knew they wouldn't want to talk to me.   What kind of woman would give this little girl up?


Guilt.


Remorse.


Sadness.




I kept the pictures.  I kept her home phone number and address.  FOR over THIRTY YEARS.  Blue envelope........rubber band, phone number and address attached.



Enter Dodi and Facebook.



She was determined to find Shelley.


Well, come to find out, Shelley not only had a facebook page, but also a BLOG!   Don'tchajustlove the internet?


We read all about her, her wonderful LIFE, her parents, her brother, husband and baby.  We saw pictures of her as a little girl.  We saw her wedding photos.  Oh how it warmed my heart.



And, it put my mind to rest.  She's been raised in a perfect.........no PERFECT home and she was happy.  She'd found her very own Mr. Wonderful.  She knew Jesus.  Oh how I loved knowing that.


So, finally, after a year of thinking about it, Dodi mustered up her courage and contacted Shelley through Facebook.


She told her who she was and after some late night conversations it was agreed that her mom, Shelley, Dodi and I would meet for lunch.


Tears.  LOTS of Tears.  And, so much JOY.  We talked and talked and talked.......it was so funny to find out that her mom and dad had taken her home on June 6th.......in my memory we'd had her for a month or so......not six days.  


I found out they had prayed for all her "Moms" on Mother's Day all those years.  I could barely believe it.  See what I mean about wonderful parents?


We found out how God had had HIS hand on the entire situation......  HE had a plan........and had Shelley not come through us to her FAB.U.LOUS parents she wouldn't have ended up there at all.  


Isn't God just tooooo awesome?



Don'tcha just want to know how this story ends?...  Well, it's not really the END...  just what we know up to now.


I knew I had missed her all of those years, but I didn't really know or understand what a missing piece she really was in my life until I saw her again...... I'm thrilled to know this girl now.  She's a sweetheart, has the kindest husband ever, TWO precious little boys and a little one on the way.



This photo from our lunch together.........  She smiles like that ALL the time.


Dodi on the left, Shelley on the right......pregnant with her second baby, John Paul.


She calls Dodi her sister separated at birth..........and me?  Her bonus Mom....isn't that just the cutest darn thang?


She tells Dodi they wasted a whole year while she was dinking around instead of contacting her.


They are.........two peas in a pod.   So much alike.  They both have wonderful senses of humor and have big, loud laughs.


And so..... I want to say........Happy Birthday Shelley.


We love you.....  and your family.



What a wonderful woman you are.


So now.........you want to see those darling babies?....  her sweet hubby?...  See what she's up to?


You can pop over HERE.


She's also SUPER talented and is a photographer........and does the MOST perfect graphics........just in case you might need something?   :-)





So, there you have it.


A happy post for the first of June.



Lovies and Huggies,

Spencer


xoxo


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Linking to Miss Beverly's Pink Saturday...  Be sure to pop over to visit...  HERE....